I seriously need to pull myself out of this negative shank spiral before I go full blown hate on everything and everyone. Literally feel myself caring about less and less every day.
I’m actually a nice person, I swear.
When someone orders a mojito & you’re 2 seconds from finishing it then they knock it over the appropriate response is definitely ARE YOU FUCKIN KIDDING ME
Actually if anyone orders a mojito at 1am the appropriate response is also ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
Apparently I have a type and that type is brown-haired, bearded chefs named Tom.
See also: what to wear when meeting up for a drink with a dude you’re not even sure you really like because the real person you have feelings for has ruined you for other dudes but is emotionally unavailable.
We got through a Grammys show without Robin Thicke winning anything so all in all an achievement well done everybody
I am 26 years old and the only thing I have to eat at home at the moment is Paddle Pops.
Watched Magic Mike with my parents and tbh that was more awkward and cringe than getting high with them on Christmas Eve